Patricia's Correspondence

This is my third message from Patricia sent on 9th January 2011.

Subject: Re: Hello

TWIMC [To Whom It May Concern -- nice, Pat's learning the new Internet acronyms lingo]:

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My family physician, Dr. South suggested Atarax [Hydroxyzine, an antihistamine, relieves itching and allergic skin reactions; may relieve emotional conditions that result in anxiety and tension; reduces nausea and vomiting; helps make you sleep before surgery or at bedtime, and may help with pain relief after surgery. Generic hydroxyzine tablets or capsules are available] to help me get to sleep, relieve anxiety and panic attacks and help with the discomfort of being locked up indoors all the time and to help with adjusting to all the changes and other horrible things that were happening in about 2000-2004. It may have also increased bouts of anger or something similar unfortunately. I didn't report that to Dr. South but maybe I should have. The last 10 years may have turned out differently had I said something about it. The Columbine High School Massacre happened partly because kids were too heavily medicated or on the wrong stuff or were misdiagnosed and mislabeled. I was sort of afraid to do anything about my situation because of that or it added to my decision to try and handle it on my own and forget about it.

I had just gotten out and away from almost 20 years of being on medication and being locked up away or out of society and prevented from a normal life and normal living arrangements. I was glad to finally be back on track again and valued my freedom and non-medicated status almost for the first time in my life. Maybe I overreacted or over did it or it was too many uncontrolled changes I had to handle and happening all at the same time. I didn't need my mothers relatives and helpful support team constantly popping in unannounced suddenly and for little or no reason at about that time either. She got sicker about that time and the neighbors and I had it out on the front lawn about that time. It was too much for me to handle and I was unprepared and unqualified to be dealing with all I had to deal with and very suddenly and without warning when I just got home myself and wanted time to adjust and bond to our cat "Sunny." I only wanted time to myself to readjust, recover, get back to normal and enjoy my new found life again but got little of that. I originally got the Atarax prescription from Dr. Sing, one of the last doctors I saw at the medical center, in about 1999 or 2000. I thought she was accurate and helpful and did a good job because Atarax is used as a way of relieving minor discomfort and anxiety associated with panic attacks and stress which was more suitable to my condition or problems and diagnosis at that time and ever since 1972. She finally got down to the truth and reality I think rather than suggesting Depakote, Prozac or other major psychotropic medications that were too strong or the wrong kind or caused adverse side affects. My problems were never that severe to warrant the diagnosis of a major mental illness and that had been going on since about 1972. I was misdiagnosed or confused with someone else for a long time.

My Mom still sees Dr. Jobirg because she has diabetes. I tried using Dr. Jobirg or his clinic and staff as my primary care physician in about 2001-2003 but was rejected and I still am uncertain as to why. I had gotten off welfare, Medicaid and Medicare about that time and was self-pay so there shouldn't have been any problems with him seeing me as well as my mother. Other than her stomach surgery and foot problems she uses Dr. Jobirg as her primary care physician. The Samaritan Hangout and other charitable places don't require or encourage anyone to take medication so I've noticed. In a way that can be a good thing and it can also be a bad thing. It's helpful for people like myself who have been on medication for a long time to get a rest or get a different diagnosis or even give it up all together. A change of pace from public institutionalization is refreshing. Surviving some of the disgusting charitable institutions such as The Samaritan Hangout would almost require someone to be on some type of medication or drugs and alcohol or plain crazy and sick to survive the horrible conditions, adjustments, shock, trauma and horrible people including the paid and unpaid volunteers who are "a little out to lunch" about a lot of things themselves. The medical center at Mt. Logan and public psyche facilities require everyone to take medication even if it is incorrect or is a misdiagnosis. That's the downside to public health care facilities. Either way it is a pretty disgusting way to live or exist or spend one's better years and healthful youth especially if you are the victim not the victimizer or haven't done anything wrong.