Patricia's Correspondence

I received this, my eigth message from Patricia on 19th January 2011. This email letter is again only signed by Patty by herself.

Subject: Re: Hello

To Whom It May Concern:

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Mom is physically challenged and disabled but her mind is alert and functioning so I have that to be grateful for [well you told us she was in her nineties]. I guess it could be worse. I have a hard time getting out of the house still. I don't see the neighbors as particularly worried or concerned about that or the needs of my mother and I and never did. I know and recognize false concern for what it is and always have. You probably have us confused with someone else.

It was chaos in this house several years ago before we lost our cat "Sunny." All the comings and goings of my mothers friends, neighbors, relatives and health care workers and other well wishers added to the chaotic environment around here that I didn't need at the time. I didn't have time to catch up on my own destroyed world and other problems. I don't mean to sound paranoid or like a conspiracy theorist but there were too many curiosity seekers and "lookie-lus" coming and going and it had little to do with myself and my recovery process or other recent traumatic events. It delayed my recovery and catching-up process. I wasn't able to be as alert and aware as I could have about certain things such as our cat "Sunny" because of that or it added to it. Having to constantly be alert and aware of hostile neighbors and their problems hasn't increased my ability to feel safe and comfortable living around here with so many different people coming and going in and out of this house and it has been that way for quite some time. I feel like I have no control over that and them and the chaotic situation they create. That was about the time our cat "Sunny" disappeared. It's almost like it was a deliberate and intentional set-up on their part to keep me angry and upset and busy or distracted. They have no real reason for dumping on me or us and for no reason other than they have questions and answers or educational and other needs and expectations that haven't been met and they expect us to do that for them or instead of them. We have to be there for them when they are hardly there for us and especially for me in my hour of grief and need and never have been. I've been all alone in that way for many, many years and it gets a little old and tiring and burdensome after awhile. It is hardly a warm and friendly or professional or ethical relationship in that sense and never has been. That situation has improved in the last few months. My mother and I aren't upset at each other or in general as much. Her home health care workers that I like and trust as well have helped. We seem to be more at peace now that some of the neighbors have quieted down or have gotten some help for their problems.

The Markuses were more family oriented and better at that than I or our family ever has been and should remain that way. The Markuses were friendlier and I had a better relationship with them than I did with my own family and parents sometimes. I think I have missed them rather than my own parents or family over the years. That perhaps should have been a red flag to someone years ago as well come to think of it but I'm not an expert.